moving can shake the crap out of you

it seems the best way to get a new look at life is to move cross country. now, i am not sure if it because i spent the better part of the day team driving with my wife; or that we had to deal with three kids and a dog; or if it was the fact that we were not connected for over a month - we did not have lap tops at the time of the move; or if it was just that i got to see some amazing things on the drive and spent a great deal of time talking with the women i love - who knows, all i can say is moving sure does shake the crap out of a person.

on the trip i came toa realization that living on the edge is f fun, but rather hard to deal with at time. but more, i even think that what we see as the "edge" is simply a bad spot to be in. so, one says, 'welcome to the edge.' keep in mind, being on the edge means you have people behind you wanting to push and people in front of you wanting to pull - and it takes all you have to simply hold onto the ropes and find a place to stand.

i think the idea is to just be the one God called, and let the others be the others, and let them flap all the gums they desire. for awhile there i was concerned with what cason and others say - and i found myself "picking sides" - and soemtimes i did not agree with the side i picked, but i picked it because it was against the side i did not want to belong too; or felt i should not belong too. then, i drove cross country and took a new position - i think it was all the time away from the "in your face emerging" that changed me and mellowed my thoughts - but for me, the "edge" is not the radicals on either side; they are simply voices that hold no meaning to me, so i let them go; they are the ones with the rope. for me, the edge is a place where God moves us to be and see the vast open spaces before us - and share his vision with us. it is a place where we come to the realization that who we are is based more on our standing with God, then with what someone else thinks. i have come to the conclusion that in that stance i need not defend, define, or explain my views - they are what they are. some will agree, some will not- but all in all i am the one God made and called to this path - and God is the only person i am accountable to.

man, moving can truly shake the crap out of a guy :)